Would it be wrong to...?

...get the law involved?

2011-03-28T01:53:00.000-07:00

Time is of the essence. Time is money. Time flies when you're having fun.... but boy does it drag on when you're not!

I was recently invited to a party in honor of some people who I rate as pretty decent honor-worthy folks. So I was happy to accept the invitation, make my contribution, and attend.

Little did I know that such a decision meant that I was in fact agreeing to my own kidnap.

Serious words I know, reader, but I have to confess that I was bizarrely an accessory to a most awful crime... perpetrated against myself, and others.

Because instead of an evening focused on what we know and love about the people who's party this event had purported to be for, we were all held captive to a musical performance that X-Factor wouldn't have granted more than a polite 1 and a half minutes. Alas, my table wasn't equipped with a buzz-off buzzer, so the spectacle went on for more than half a precious hour.

Now I know as much as the next girl covering her ears that it's not about winning (or in this context, sounding like Whitney Houston at her peak), it's about taking part (in this case, singing along happily sounding like one of the Atomic Kitten girls struck down with bad case of laryngitis).

But just because you enjoy doing something, why get others involved? Why use someone else's celebration as a platform for your own self-indulgence?

Why should we endure while they enjoy?

So would it be wrong to... report this as a time-wasting ear-abusing kidnap of a crime?

Maybe it would. I'd be the one arrested for time-wasting, right?

... "miss" the call?

2009-06-02T04:34:00.000-07:00

Perhaps substitute "wrong" with "wise" here... you'll see why.

How do you feel when you phone someone and they don't pick up...?

And then how do you feel when you phone a second time because, you know, maybe they just got to the phone a little bit too late, so let's give them another chance...?

... But then, how do you feel when on calling the third time (well, you do need to speak to them, right?!) you are again invited to leave a message after the tone...?

Impatient, irritated, furious, not-best-pleased - take your pick.

But what about when you're on the other side? Let me explain.

For a while now, I've been avoiding phone calls from a strange-looking number, strange-looking meaning not local, not a mobile, not recognisably international... just strange. After a few "missed" calls, I typed it into Google which directed me to a messageboard of people who had also received calls from this number, and the smart guy on the list identified it as being from our mobile phone company, probably trying to sell us another phone-related service; not probably, I'd say, almost certainly, unless they're diversifying in double-glazing (I doubt it too).

So, here's my point. Is it wise to sneakily dodgy the calls of your mobile phone provider, those people who have the POWER to cut you off or connect you at will, to render them impatient, irritated, furious, not-best-pleased, etc?

...

They haven't called for a while. Maybe I'll give them a buzz.

... request to look at the trees?

2009-03-03T04:50:00.000-08:00

This has happened more than once.
Indeed, this has happened more than twice.

I would say, it's only polite to have a look at the people around you in a confined space. A brief look, mind you. Not staring. Just enough of a look to confirm that you're normal. Not too much - that could suggest the contrary. No, people are interesting => the free entertainment schedule that planet Earth has to offer. And people are the stars. Have a brief look.

Make a brief judgement too, perhaps. Some people you see are alone. Some people you see come as a package. [Couple.] [Parent and child.] [Siblings.] [Friends.] Sometimes they interact. Sometimes they take a little break from each other to read or to daydream. But here's the weird bit. Sometimes, one member of that package just gets up and leaves!

Sure, I only took a brief look, made a brief judgment, but now I suddenly feel involved. Why? Well, because they just had to be brothers, right? Or, that just had to be his mother - how couldn't they have seen that? But now they've gone...FOREVER!

Would it be wrong to call the departing person back and say: "Come on now, you 2, get your family trees out now!"

Yes, perhaps my normal status would now be called into question.

... tell them to change their tune?

2009-01-24T13:36:00.000-08:00

"If music be the food of love, play on..."

Indeed. New love. Lost love. Forbidden love. There's a record for every situation, every emotion, everyone. The song tells the story and it's up to each one of us to make a connection, be it to the past, to the present, or to our hopes for the future.

Radio stations invite listeners to request the song they want to hear. Many DJs quite enjoy it when callers include their own signification of the selected tune. Personal details relating to the caller's private life are particularly welcomed, I've noticed. Well, fair enough; if the caller has a strong feeling about a particular lyric, then... I guess they're free to let us all know why... if they insist.

Then there's a scenario that I've decided to name *love song lotto*. It's when someone contacts the DJ to tell their story - complete with happy or sad ending. They then leave it up to the DJ to play them a song. "Please play me a song" they say. Now, I don't know about you, but to me, that seems like a complete waste of time. Going to all that trouble to reveal the most intimate details relating to their private life - was that really the core objective? At least choose your own song, really! The DJ chooses the songs the rest of the day anyhow!

But no - this *love song lotto* seems to be catching on. And in my book, it's a risky business. Because, reader - now don't be alarmed - there are some strangely mean DJs about.

Yes, mean. A DJ who selects the most rousing of songs celebrating the beauty of finding THE ONE following on from the letter received from a 43 year old divorcee who has only just caught sight of the light at the end of a very, very long and dark tunnel (-she told us so). A DJ who reads the letter sent in by a couple very much still in love after 30 happy years and then follows it up with a song about secretly and consistently cheating on your partner... for them! A DJ - and this one I heard just last week - who ooohs and aaahs when reading out the tender expressions of one lovebird who just wants 'to let you know that you're the best thing that's happened to me'. Yes, the DJ ooohs, and aaahs, ... and then puts on a song that begins with the lyric "Can't believe it's over..."

Would it be wrong to pick up the phone and politely inform the DJ that they've misfired?

Wrong, not necessarily. Waste of our time and energy, almost certainly. And if the DJ really is mean, they'd just love us to do that.

... get vocal?

2008-12-15T02:41:00.000-08:00

I like reading on transport. It makes the journey go quicker. No, I don't mean that the train or bus driver steps on the accelerator when they see me start reading. Well, at least I don't think that's what happens. Unless they have something against people reading and want them off as soon as possible. Not likely, I would have thought. That would just be strangely mean... No, reading occupies the mind and diverts our attention from frustrating traffic jams, from crazy drivers, from infuriating delays. Lost in a book, transferred to somewhere else, a happier place.

But sometimes that new found peace can be shattered in an instant. 4 words. Loud mobile phone conversations. Now I don't consider myself to be a nosey person. Admittedly, I find people and their behaviour rather interesting, but I think life on Earth would be quite miserable if you didn't... you know, considering this planet is full of people. Anyway, I digress. There is something about a loud mobile phone conversation that just obliges you to listen in. I don't know what it is, but somehow, one half of a conversation is so much more engaging than hearing both parts of a dialogue. Despite efforts to stay focussed on my reading material, I find myself waiting intently for the next installment. My eyes will me to read on, but my ears win the battle each time. How annoying! As absorbing as the book was, concentration has been completely broken.

There is only one remedy for this problem, but how would it be viewed? Sure, a little bit of noise is to be expected in a public place. But I've never seen this done before. Nonetheless, this would surely restore my concentration.

So there I am, not reading, but not listening anymore either. No, now I'm just wondering...would it be wrong to start reading out loud?

... beg them to stop it?

2008-10-08T01:36:00.000-07:00

Bus journey. You know, general bus + people noises. Read the paper. Gaze out of the window. The choice is yours. Let's just all get to where we're going to. Together.

clip ... clip ... clip clip ... clip ... clip clip clip...

OK. I see. Someone is evidently (sharp intake of breath) clipping their nails on public transport. No, this isn't a case of "Oh dear, my nail has just broken so I must now spontaneously remove it to prevent it from breaking further or snagging on contact with anything else". No. This was apparently planned: "It's about time I clipped my nails. But when? And where? ... I know! I'll pack the nail clipper in my bag so that I can conveniently groom myself in public. Perfect solution!" Arrrrrgghhh...

I've also seen evidence of this on an 2 hour international train journey. Don't be alarmed, but we clearly have a public-place-nail-clipping-movement on our hands, people. I don't think this one is going away.

So the next time (shudder), would it be wrong to simply yell "Pleeeease! I BEG you! Don't do it here..."

Yes, of course I'd say "please".

...tell them to get over it?

2008-09-19T01:31:00.001-07:00

Office politics. Sometimes it can be quite entertaining. Some people never seem to get past that petty playground mindset. "She did this", "She shouldn't have done that", "She... she...", all peppered with various expletives - not the most professional approach to the workplace, in my humble opinion.

After a while, it simply becomes tiresome. Day in , day out... The anticipation of an opportunity to gossip constantly hanging in the air above our heads. And then it arrives: the new boss leaves the room and the ringleaders break away from their desks to convene in the corner. They have important matters to discuss: whisper whisper whisper, chatter chatter chatter, whinge, moan, attack.

It's unreasonable. It's unprofessional. It's unfair. But it's what the I'm-not-being-funny-but-brigade come to work for. If they can clock up at least 3 of these complaint sessions, it's been a successful day.

So, next time they assemble for a meeting of moans, would it be wrong to scream "She's your boss! Get over it!..."?